A drink centers me, but I usually make myself wait until at least 9:00 PM for that. Or 8:00 PM. Whichever comes first.

— Bill Callahan

I have never cried in the shower. That's a woman thing I think.

— Bill Callahan

I was trained to turn loneliness into laziness.

— Bill Callahan

They say marriages work better if you don't know the person too well. Maybe we should stop writing each other posthaste.

— Bill Callahan

When I moved, I unearthed the diaries I kept for ten years. I sat and went through them, and they were a worthless burden to own. People will say it's tragic I threw them out, but I know it isn't.

— Bill Callahan

You know how on Christmas day, the day feels different, even if you're just sitting in your chair waiting for your girlfriend to put her face on, and you haven't even started any of the festivities yet, the day still feels different. The electrons are fatter and pushier.

— Bill Callahan