Do ghosts drink tea? They don't, said Tanya. But this ghost would love to see a cup of tea in front of her. It'd be lovely.

— Roddy Doyle

Gloria screamed, but nothing came out. She could feel the scream in her throat, but it was clinging there, too scared to climb out of her mouth. Raymond might have screamed, too--he wasn't sure. His face was an exploding red ball--that was what it felt like. His heart was in the middle of his head. He couldn't see a thing.

— Roddy Doyle

If you are a writer you're at home, which means you're out of touch. You have to make excuses to get out there and look at how the world is changing.

— Roddy Doyle

If you were going to be best friends with anyone - Kevin - you had to hate a lot of other people, the two of you, together. It made you better friends.

— Roddy Doyle

I jumped on Sinbad's bottle. Nothing happened. I didn't do it again. Sometimes when nothing happened it was really getting ready to happen

— Roddy Doyle

It was a sign of growing up, when the dark made no more difference to you than the day.

— Roddy Doyle

I was the ref. I was the ref they didn’t know about. Deaf and dumb. Invisible as a wall. I wanted no one to win

— Roddy Doyle

Mary,' said her mother. 'We don't like sarcasm' 'You mightn't like it,' said Mary. 'But I love it.

— Roddy Doyle

One day at a time, sweet Jesus. Whoever wrote that one hadn’t a clue. A day is a fuckin’ eternity

— Roddy Doyle

Schools don't really allow failure and yet it's a valid part of any endeavor, not just writing.

— Roddy Doyle