A gold cage is still a cage.-King David Ion, go cry in a bag of money.-Queen Christina

— MaryJanice Davidson

A grumpy vampire is a homicidal vampire. Hungry ones were even worse.

— MaryJanice Davidson

Fredrika BIM, what do you think you're doing?"" Freaking out. Losing my mind. Thinking about snapping your husband's spine. Squashing the urge to vomit. Wishing I had died at childbirth."" Oh, you say that when you don't get a prize in your Lucky Charms.

— MaryJanice Davidson

Have you lost your teeny tiny mind, you too-tall, too-skinny, too-crazy jerk?”“Oh, look who’s talking, Miss Let’s Blunder Around the Time Stream and Hang the Consequences! Thanks to you, we’ve got a dead Marc and alive Marc in the same timeline. . . In the same house! Thanks to you, I got chomped on by a dim, blonde, undead, selfish, whorish, blood-sucking leech when I was minding my own business in the past.”“Don’t you call me dim!”“Um. Everyone. Perhaps we should—” Tina began.“Wait, when did this happen?” Marc asked. He had the look of a man desperately trying to buy a vowel. “Past, an hour ago? Past, last year? Help me out.”“Oh, binding surprise!” Laura threw her (perfectly manicured) hands in the air. “Let me guess, you were soon busy banging your dead husband that you haven’t had time to tell anybody anything.”“I was getting to it,” I whined.”Then after not telling anyone anything and not being proactive—or even active!—you grow up to destroy the world and bring about eternal nuclear winter or whatever the heck that was, and how do you deal with your foreknowledge of terrible events to come? Have sex!”“An affirmation of life?” Sinclair suggested. Never, I repeat, never had I loved him more. I was torn between slugging my sister and blowing my husband. Hmm. Laura might have a point about my priorities. . . But jeez. Look at him. Yum.“—even do it, and what do you have to say for yourself? Huh?”“You’re just uptight, repressed, smug, antisex, and jealous, you Antichrist morally superior, fundamentally evil bitch.” Laura and Marc gasped. My husband groaned.

— MaryJanice Davidson

He's all right. His hair is cute." Jonas froze, his lobster fork halfway to his mouth. " Oh my God, you're in love."" I'm not in love.""'his hair is cute'? You never say anything nice about anyone. Coming from you, cute hair is a mating call."" I talked to the guy for thirty seconds. And then he waved at me while I was in the tank."" Holy fuck, you're getting married, aren't you!"" Will you simmer? I certainly am not.

— MaryJanice Davidson

He turned to her and pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth. When he spoke his deep voice vibrated all through her. 'I. Remember. Everything.

— MaryJanice Davidson

How's your grandpa?"" Still worried that your blackness will infect me."" That's the plan. First you, then all the other blondes, and then on to brunettes and redheads. Once we have the womenfolk, all the babies will come out black, too. We all voted on the plan at the last Black Conspirators meeting.

— MaryJanice Davidson

I always knew I'd keep at it with the plodding doggedness that I used to master lump-less gravy and wriggle out of fitness classes; I always knew I'd get a zillion rejection slips. I figured I'd write part-time while working various full-time office jobs, and maybe, maybe in my 50s, I'd be able to quit and try writing full-time.

— MaryJanice Davidson

I know it's practical for career women, but sneakers with suits? Jesus couldn't possibly weep harder than I did.

— MaryJanice Davidson

I once came back from a book tour where sleek black cars driven by nice men in black suits waited for me at every hotel, took me to every signing, brought me back, opened car doors for me. They were great. I was great. It was a wonderful tour.

— MaryJanice Davidson