'A hundred and seventy-two multiplied by thirteen,' Tyler gasped. 'Two thousand two hundred and thirty-six.' 'You're not supposed to bloody tell me. I'm trying to distract myself.' He opened one eye and glared at Paris. 'How come you can still think straight? How come you can work it out that fast?' 'Good at math, good at multitasking, just good.' Tyler groaned. 'Well, see if you can count to ten before I come. Anything over ten is a miracle.'

— Barbara Elsborg

Books to read. Bitches to push out of the door.

— Barbara Elsborg

'Everything is temporary. Nothing lasts. We're born. We die. Life's all about loss and change. Things happen, we learn to adapt, or we don't, but we move on in some way or another. Sometimes that's hard and takes longer than we'd like.'

— Barbara Elsborg

Hey, you’re not supposed to find our magnificent organs amusing.

— Barbara Elsborg

'I don't remember if I thanked you for saving me,' he said. 'So thank you.'' You're welcome.' 'Though after this morning, I've added you to the list of those trying to kill me.'

— Barbara Elsborg

'I think that's why his asking me to pull the plug hurt so much. He kept saying if I really loved him, I should have been able to do it. And I thought, if he really loved me, he would never have asked.'

— Barbara Elsborg

Oh God, can I keep you? You don’t need batteries, do you?

— Barbara Elsborg

She wasn't fit to be a member of society. Her mind was a running sewer. The raunchiest teenager didn't think about sex as much as she did.

— Barbara Elsborg

That should give him time for another wank. It was a good job masturbating didn’t make you go blind.

— Barbara Elsborg

The higher up I hold it, the less painful the hot wax.”…“Try hanging off the ceiling and dropping it from there.

— Barbara Elsborg