A real relationship doesn't properly begin until the ARE burns away. That's when you have to start dealing with this person as an all-around human being, replete with irritating little habits. When disillusion sets in, love can begin.

— Anthony D. Ravenscroft

In a culture of diversity, one group is likely not "just like everyone else." To deny that we have different needs, concerns, thought processes, worldview, is to refuse to look at the reason we are supposedly an identifiable community.

— Anthony D. Ravenscroft

In a sane world, a term like "chronic crisis" would be instantly seen by alone as an oxymoron. Nevertheless, that's the state that many of us Western Workers live in, provoking crisis after crisis so that we can justify our dis-ease rather than addressing that directly.

— Anthony D. Ravenscroft

(In reference to swingers) In the meantime, if you wish to declare yourself polyamorous, get used to the fact that the confusion is going to remain as a pejorative. Sure, clear up the misunderstanding as much as you can, but don't put too much effort into setting yourself up as a "good", responsible, community-oriented polyamories by contrasting yourself to the "bad" swingers - they may not be your siblings, but they're definitely your cousins.

— Anthony D. Ravenscroft

It's a false premise to say that most monogamous people have chosen monogamy. Most people belong to the religion they were raised in...because that's what's familiar. That's the milieu they grew up in, and, for better or worse, they're just continuing the pattern. Until this traditionalist mindset is shaken loose, you would likely try from reflex to impose notions onto nonmonogamy that are not only untenable in the new context but spell sudden and messy doom even in situations that otherwise could be worked out.

— Anthony D. Ravenscroft

Polyamorous people are wary of having others' values inflicted upon themselves, and so tend to stay very far away from making such pronouncements, to the point that they will actively ignore predatory behavior that is affecting their own "community.

— Anthony D. Ravenscroft

Polyamory is differentiable from some other forms of nonmonogamy (including adultery) in that it is future-oriented. Poly relationships are not located solely at the moment, but have intentions (though perhaps tacit and vaguely defined) of at least adding to a base of experience possibly so far as signifying a life-long and emotionally attached commitment.

— Anthony D. Ravenscroft

Relationships tend to be flawed because they are made up of inherently flawed components, mere human beings.

— Anthony D. Ravenscroft

Security comes first from inside of you. Then, if you are very lucky, you will be in a position to find other people who also possess that same sort of security, and build some sort of family or community as a team.

— Anthony D. Ravenscroft

So, a little advice. Relax. You're not filling a job position. You're looking for a pleasant acquaintance. Who might become a good friend... who turns out to be attractive to your senses... and a rewarding lover... then a committed partner whose heart will not stray. If you don't see those signposts and in that order, then you're probably on the wrong road and getting more lost with every step.

— Anthony D. Ravenscroft