I believe forgiveness is possible for everybody, for everything, but I'm a Buddhist.

— Alan Ball

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it’s hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much; my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold onto it. And then it flows through me like rain, and I can’t feel anything but gratitude—for every single moment of my stupid, little life. You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure; but don’t worry….you will someday.

— Alan Ball

The idea of celibate vampires is ridiculous. To me, vampires are sex. I don't get a vampire story about abstinence. I don't care about high school students. Furthermore, I find them irritating and uninformed.

— Alan Ball

Well did you call the hypothetical hardware store and buy a theoretical chainsaw?-- Pam to Jessica, True Blood

— Alan Ball