Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

— Ray Romano

If golf wasn't enjoyable and there wasn't a lot of humor and enjoyment, even though the game is so frustrating, you would wonder why you put yourself through it.

— Ray Romano

If my father had hugged me even once, I'd be an accountant right now.

— Ray Romano

My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.

— Ray Romano

Right after 'Raymond' I had a world-is-my-oyster attitude, but I found out I don't like oysters. I had this existential emptiness. 'What is my purpose? Who am I?' I had a big identity crisis.

— Ray Romano

The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.

— Ray Romano