The most obnoxious thing in the world is to listen to others drone on about how much they love the heat. I leaned over to one woman at the café, who was professing how at home she was in the sweltering rot of hell, and said, “If you enjoy the heat so much, marry it, honeymoon with it, and throw it off a cliff, to spare the rest of us the agony of having to listen to the joy of your wretched matrimony.” She laughed. I was completely serious.