Eventually, I headed to the bathroom, and I mention this only because I saw in that bathroom the most quintessentially American artifact I have ever encountered: a bright blue rubber mat resting in the bottom of the urinal emblazoned with the following legend:EpplyWorld's Cleanest Airport Omaha, NE God bless our relentless idiotic optimism.

Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America