I do the 'New York Times' crossword puzzle every morning to keep the old gray matter ticking.

— Carol Burnett

I have always grown from my problems and challenges from the things that don't work out. That's when I've really learned.

— Carol Burnett

I loved the Kennedy Center Honors because you just sit there, smile, wave, and cry.

— Carol Burnett

I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie. The networks just wouldn't spend the money today.

— Carol Burnett

I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.

— Carol Burnett

It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.

— Carol Burnett

It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.

— Carol Burnett

I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. Furthermore, I wanted my girls to know me.

— Carol Burnett

My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.

— Carol Burnett

My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment - we had a one-room apartment in Hollywood - and I would kind of lock myself in this little dressing room area with a cracked mirror on the door and act out what I had just seen.

— Carol Burnett