My body really, really wanted to reproduce when I was 15. It took a lot of civilization, socialization, willpower and some emulsion polymerization technology for me not to reproduce at 15.

— Penn Jillette

My hair is way, way long. I've hitchhiked across the country a zillion times. I've ridden in every car. Furthermore, I was never a hippie. It takes more than long hair.

— Penn Jillette

My love of computers, besides being practical, is very direct and visceral. I love the way things look on the screen.

— Penn Jillette

My mom, if you asked her if she was interested in whether people gambled, would say no.

— Penn Jillette

My whole family is missing that sports gene. I hope I didn't screw that up by marrying a great golfer.

— Penn Jillette

Nobody that has seen a baby born can believe in god for a second. When you see your child born, and the panic, and the amount of technology that is saving the life of the two people you love most in the world, when you see how much stainless steel and money it takes to fight off the fact that god wants both those people dead, no one, no one can look into the eyes of a newborn baby and say there's a god, because I'll tell ya, if we were squatting in the woods, the two people I love most would be dead. There's just no way around that. If I were in charge, no way. We need technology to fight against nature; nature so wants us dead. Nature is trying to kill us.

— Penn Jillette

Once you've condoned faith in general, you've condoned any crazy shit done because of faith.

— Penn Jillette

[On hearing that 86% of gay teens have experienced harassment] Eighty-six percent? Eighty-six per-fucking-cent WERE harassed?! That means fourteen per-fucking-cent WEREN'T harassed? WHAT?! At MY school a hundred percent of the children - gay, straight, transgendered, bi, sell... or trade - WERE harassed. She's saying that fourteen percent of the gay students were NOT harassed? That seems impossible. At MY school any one of us would have sucked Elton John's COCK at a mandatory school assembly for a fourteen percent chance of NOT being harassed.

— Penn Jillette

Technology adds nothing to art.

— Penn Jillette

Technology adds nothing to art. Two thousand years ago, I could tell you a story, and at any point during the story I could stop, and ask, Now do you want the hero to be kidnapped, or not? But that would, of course, have ruined the story. Part of the experience of being entertained is sitting back and plugging into someone else's vision.

— Penn Jillette