Love ain't nothing but sex misspelled.

— Harlan Ellison

Now begin in the middle, and later learn the beginning; the end will take care of itself.

— Harlan Ellison

People on the outside think there’s something magical about writing…

— Harlan Ellison

Posing the question: does the god of love use underarm deodorant, vaginal spray and fluoride toothpaste?

— Harlan Ellison

The passion for revenge should never blind you to the pragmatics of the situation. There are some people who are so blighted by their past, so warped by experience and the pull of that silken cord, that they never free themselves of the shadows that live in the time machine... And if there is a kind thought due them, it may be found contained in the words of the late Gerald Fresh, who wrote:"... there are men whom one hates until a certain moment when one sees, through a chink in their armor, the writhing of something nailed down and in torment.

— Harlan Ellison

The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.

— Harlan Ellison

Thus, from admiration of one wise and innocent child, and from a misheard remark, the process that not even Aristotle could codify was triggered. Where do you get your ideas? I purposely mishear things.

— Harlan Ellison

Time is like a river flowing endlessly through the universe. And if you poled your flatboat in that river you might fight your way against the current and travel upstream into the past. Or go with the flow and rush into the future. This was in a less cynical time before toxic waste dumping and pollution filled the waterway of Cronus with the detritus of empty hours wasted minutes years of repetition and time that has been killed.

— Harlan Ellison

To see an almost certain horrible death--you know how crowds all sit at the edge of their seats, /praying/ subconsciously for a spectacular accident--and then to be whisked away from it so suddenly--brought to the edge of tragedy, and then to have their better natures win out, showing them how much nicer they always /knew/ they were--that was the supreme thrill.

— Harlan Ellison

Uh, excuse me, sir, I, uh, don't know how to uh, to uh, tell you this, but you were three minutes late. The schedule is a little, uh, bit off." He grinned sheepishly." That's ridiculous!" murmured the Ticktock man behind his mask. "Check your watch." And then he went into his office, going free, free, free, free.

— Harlan Ellison