Sara Baume

After college, I started working in the gallery and found myself surrounded by a whole new set of people who had not yet grown accustomed to my antisocial tendencies, who had not yet learned to expect me to say no, and stopped asking. I was invited to go drinking and dancing again, and so, I tried.

Sara Baume

And I felt like such a failure. I thought: I can't even do mental illness properly.

Sara Baume

And out the bus window, here is my dead world come true, my whole dead world in motion.

Sara Baume

And yet, here I am. Perceiving everything that is wonderful to be proportionately difficult; everything that is possible an elaborate battle to achieve. My happy life was never enough for me. I always considered my time to be more precious than that of other people and almost every routine pursuit—equitable employment, domestic chores, friendship—unworthy of it. Now I see how this rebellion against ordinary happiness is the greatest vanity of them all.

Sara Baume

Art, and sadness, which last forever.

Sara Baume

Blending into the tinctures and textures of the countryside. The tree which falls without any human hearing still falls, as the creatures who die without being found by a human still die.

Sara Baume

But I have never wanted to be perceived as chatty and bright. I have always wanted to be solemn and mysterious.

Sara Baume

But I know I will do neither; nothing. I have all the time in the world, and yet, I can't be bothered.

Sara Baume

But no, now I see I never meant to Ben what Ben meant to me. If there was anything I said which resonated in return, he found a better speech elsewhere. My romance went no further than his coat.

Sara Baume

But nowadays, I feel guilty that I am granted the immunity of the artistically gifted, having never actually achieved anything to prove myself worthy.

Sara Baume

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