Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.

— H. L. Mencken

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.

— H. L. Mencken

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.

— H. L. Mencken

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

— H. L. Mencken

Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other's speeches, that by the time election day is past there is nothing much to do save turn the sitting rascals out and let a new gang in.

— H. L. Mencken

Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.

— H. L. Mencken

For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us, but they make us feel safe. Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.

— H. L. Mencken

God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

— H. L. Mencken

God is a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.

— H. L. Mencken

Happiness is the china shop love is the bull.

— H. L. Mencken