He's wearing his official university sweatshirt again, which puzzles me a little. I mean I'd sort of understand it more if it said Yale or Harvard or something, because then it would be a fashion choice. But why advertise the fact that you're at a university to all the other people who are at the university with you?

— David Nicholls

He wanted to live life to the extreme, but without any mess or complications. He wanted to live life in such a way that if a photograph were taken at random, it would be a cool photograph. Things should look right. Fun; there should be a lot of fun and no more sadness than absolutely necessary.

— David Nicholls

I applied to the University of Life. Didn't get the grades.

— David Nicholls

If you're my friend I should be able to talk to you, but I can't, and if I can't talk to you, well, what is the point of you? Of us?

— David Nicholls

I hate this complete obsession with class, especially at this place, you can hardly say 'hello' to anyone before they are getting all prosier-than-thou and telling you about how their dad's a one eyed chimney-sweep with rickets, and how they've still got an outside loo, and have never been on a plane or whatever, all that dubious crap, most of which is usually lies anyway, and I'm thinking why are you telling me this? Am I meant to feel guilty? D'you think it's my fault or something, or are you just feeling pleased with yourself for escaping your pre-determined social role or some self-congratulatory bullshit? I mean, what does it matter anyway? People are people, if you ask me, and they rise or fall by their own talents and merits, and their own labors, and blaming the fact they've got a settee rather than a sofa, or eat tea rather tan dinner, that's just an excuse, it's just whining self-pity and shoddy thinking.... I don't make judgements about other people because of their background and I expect people to treat me with the same courtesy... It's my parent's money and it's not as if they got it from nicking people's dole or running sweatshops in Johannesburg or something. They worked fucking hard for what they've got. It's a privilege, and they treat it as such, and they do their best to give something back. But if you ask me, there's no snob like an inverted snob... I'm just so fucking bored with people trying to pass plain old envy off as some sort of virtue.

— David Nicholls

I have always been well liked, I think, always well regarded and respected, but having few enemies is not the same as having many friends, and there was no denying that I was, if not "lonely", more solitary than I'd hoped to be at that time.

— David Nicholls

I love Billy Wilder, and I love the way that his films can be very touching and very moving and very romantic, and at the same time there's always a little cynical undertone, there's always something that undercuts things.

— David Nicholls

I'm just not going to do it so that we can say that we've done it. And I'm not going to do it if the first thing you say afterward is 'please don't tell anyone' or 'let's forget it ever happened'. If you have to keep something secret it's because you shouldn't be doing it in the first place!

— David Nicholls

I'm just not prepared to be treated like this anymore.'' Treated like what?' She sighed, and it was a moment before she spoke. 'Like you always want to be somewhere else, with someone else.

— David Nicholls

I sometimes worry that I'm a bit moralistic; always writing about men who are learning to grow up, not be so self-absorbed, selfish or badly behaved. I wonder if that's dull and liberal and wimpy? Furthermore, I should probably write something that celebrates wickedness.

— David Nicholls