Russell Baker
I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens in a hostile world.
— Russell Baker
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
— Russell Baker
I've had an unhappy life thank God.
— Russell Baker
Listen once in a while. It's amazing what you can hear.
— Russell Baker
Newspaper people, once celebrated as founts of ribald humor and uncouth fun, have of late lost all their gaiety, and small wonder.
— Russell Baker
New York is the only city in the world where you can get run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.
— Russell Baker
One of the many burdens of the person professing Christianity has always been the odium likely to be heaped upon him by fellow Christians quick to smell out, denounce and punish fraud, hypocrisy and general unworthiness among those who assert the faith. In ruder days, disputes about what constituted a fully qualified Christian often led to sordid quarrels in which the disputants tortured, burned and hanged each other in the conviction that torture, burning and hanging were Christian things to do…
— Russell Baker
Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it.
— Russell Baker
Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity.
— Russell Baker
Roosevelt's declaration that Americans had 'nothing to fear but fear itself' was a glorious piece of inspirational rhetoric and just as gloriously wrong.
— Russell Baker
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