Right now I've got just two rules to live by. Rule one: don't taunt elephants. Rule two: don't stand next to anybody who taunts elephants.-Sergeant Schlock

— Howard Tayler

So you're a fellow mercenary, then."" Does this mean you'll afford me some professional courtesy?"" Don't ask for that. All it means is that you might get to face the person who kills you. . . But only if it's convenient.

— Howard Tayler

Spy' is such a short ugly word. I prefer 'espionage.' Those extra three syllables really say something.

— Howard Tayler

Technically, you don't pay me. And technically, most of what I do is "think." I...RRR. Ummm. And when you get right down to it, I'm better at it than you are.-Hennessy & Captain Wagon

— Howard Tayler

That's odd. It looks almost as if Nick is picking a fight with that elephant."" Well, the elephant started it."" That's irrelevant. Fighting with civilians is against the rules. Go break it up."-Admiral Brad Andreas & Sergeant Schlock

— Howard Tayler

The spirit of the law is the least of the things we're prepared to violate.

— Howard Tayler

The Tausennigan Ob'end warlords look like cuddly teddy-bears?"" Yes, they do, and they'd cheerfully exterminate your entire race for making that observation!"" I guess that explains their rich military history, then.

— Howard Tayler

The way you blunder from one catastrophe to the next, it's a wonder the whole galaxy doesn't hate you. The galaxy is a big place, General. You provincial military types don't get far enough out to really see that.-General Wagon & Captain Kevin Andreas

— Howard Tayler

They're holding flushes of face cards, and I think we're the pot.

— Howard Tayler

This document outlines our plan to perpetrate insurance fraud, insider trading, and character assassination....hopefully tripling our paycheck on this job. Okay, see? Those words I understand just fine. Use them more often.-Lieutenant Massey Ramstein & Captain Wagon

— Howard Tayler