Nostalgia was never what it used to be.

— Brian Spellman

Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear so don't look, and they'll stay farther away than you expect they would.

— Brian Spellman

Okay, you won our shitty little argument. Pass the world.

— Brian Spellman

Our archaeological ancestry lost hair while growing sweat glands to reduce panting in the hot African sun. One outcome evolved the origin of our speech. Another conquered our ability to shut the hell up and listen. Now? Politicians grunting "On the Origin of Speeches" past one another.

— Brian Spellman

Our atheist thoughts go out to his family following their loss.

— Brian Spellman

Peace ain't worth fighting for.

— Brian Spellman

Psychosis is person less persona, raving sincerity.

— Brian Spellman

Self talk and self prayer: When you audible the first and correctly interpret, the white coats correct you in a nuthouse. When you audible the second and misinterpret, the dinner coats swear you to an oath in the White House. Does this make you nuts too? Then outfit your sanity seeking political asylum at my house.

— Brian Spellman

Spare the rod and spoil the Memorial Day rotisserie.

— Brian Spellman

The brain is unreliable. It relies on lies.

— Brian Spellman