I was an English major at the University of Minnesota, and I was very shy, which many people misinterpreted as intelligence. On the basis of that wrong impression, I became the editor of the campus literary magazine.

— Garrison Keillor

I write for a radio show that, no matter what, will go on the air Saturday at five o'clock central time. You learn to write toward that deadline, to let the adrenaline pick you up on Friday morning and carry you through, to cook up a monologue about Lake Wobegon and get to the theater on time.

— Garrison Keillor

Just because we're fictional characters doesn't mean you can pick us up and move us anywhere you want.--the people of Lake Wobegon

— Garrison Keillor

My God, rich people have the time to praise You if they want to, but the poor people are so busy, accept their work as praise because, my God, they don’t have time for everything.

— Garrison Keillor

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.

— Garrison Keillor

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.

— Garrison Keillor

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.

— Garrison Keillor

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted to be had you known.

— Garrison Keillor

Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now, because I won't feel so thankful then.

— Garrison Keillor

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

— Garrison Keillor