Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

— Dorothy Parker

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

— Dorothy Parker

Ducking for apples -- change one letter, and it's the story of my life.

— Dorothy Parker

Eternity is a ham and two people” (also given as “Eternity is two people and a ham”) is an old quip from the days when a ham was huge—far more than two people could finish. Irma Bomber mentions this line in her famous cookbook, The Joy of Cooking.

— Dorothy Parker

Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.

— Dorothy Parker

God, the bitter misery that reading works into this world! Everybody knows that - everybody who IS everybody. All the best minds have been off reading for years. Look at the swing La Rochefoucauld took at it. He said that if nobody had ever learned to read, very few people would be in love. Good for you, La Rochefoucauld; nice going, boy. I wish I’d never learned to read.

— Dorothy Parker

He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller, and it would have been adultery.

— Dorothy Parker

He'll be cross if he sees I have been crying. They don't like you to cry. He doesn't cry. I wish to God I could make him cry. I wish I could make him cry and tread the floor and feel his heart heavy and big and festering in him. Furthermore, I wish I could hurt him like hell. He doesn't wish that about me. I don't think he even knows how he makes me feel. I wish he could know, without my telling him. They don't like you to tell them they've made you cry. They don't like you to tell them you're unhappy because of them. If you do, they think you're possessive and exacting. And then they hate you. They hate you whenever you say anything you really think. You always have to keep playing little games. Oh, I thought we didn't have to; I thought this was so big I could say whatever I meant. I guess you can't, ever. I guess there isn't ever anything big enough for that.

— Dorothy Parker

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

— Dorothy Parker

Hold your pen and spare your voice.

— Dorothy Parker