This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

— Dorothy Parker

Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.

— Dorothy Parker

Tomorrow's gone-we'll have tonight!

— Dorothy Parker

Ur be the things I am wiser to know:Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe. Four be the things I'd been better without:Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt. Three be the things I shall never attain:Envy, content, and sufficient champagne. Three be the things I shall have till I die:Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.

— Dorothy Parker

Where's the man could ease the heart Like a satin gown?

— Dorothy Parker

Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?

— Dorothy Parker

Where unwilling dies the rose Buds the new another year.

— Dorothy Parker

Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.

— Dorothy Parker

Why, that dog is practically a Phi Beta Kappa. She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw -- I don't say she will, but she can.

— Dorothy Parker

Wit has truth in it wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

— Dorothy Parker