I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.

— Bill Maher

If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.

— Bill Maher

If we stopped calling it profiling and started calling it "proactive intelligence screening" or "high alert detecting", people would be saying "Well, it's about time".

— Bill Maher

If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and sheer ignorance as religion is, you'd resign in protest.

— Bill Maher

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

— Bill Maher

I hate stupidity, but what I hate even more is when people actually brag about it.

— Bill Maher

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

— Bill Maher

I'm always amazed at the human capacity to not make fundamental changes, but instead merely adapt. I see these pictures of people in Beijing and New Delhi, walking around with masks on, because you can't walk outside your house and breathe? If you can't breathe?… If that's not the cue to make a fundamental change, I don't know what is!

— Bill Maher

I'm not a Christian, but I have read his book.

— Bill Maher

Isn't it time we asked ourselves, are we willing to accept any behavior codified within religious or cultural practice? Is there no line to be drawn? If honor killings are okay, then why not virgin sacrifices or cannibalism or sex with children outside the church? We have perversely taken our notion of tolerance to such extremes that we've become tolerant of intolerance.

— Bill Maher