Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?

— Frank Zappa

The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows.

— Frank Zappa

The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext is, 'All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions.

— Frank Zappa

The more you can escape from how horrible things really are, the less it's going to bother you...and then, the worse things get.

— Frank Zappa

There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another.

— Frank Zappa

There is more stupidity around than hydrogen and it has longer shelf life.

— Frank Zappa

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

— Frank Zappa

There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.

— Frank Zappa

The rock and roll business is pretty absurd, but the world of serious music is much worse.

— Frank Zappa

The Ultimate Rule ought to be: 'If it sounds GOOD to you, it's bitchin'; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it's shitty. The more your musical experience, the easier it is to define for yourself what you like and what you don't like.

— Frank Zappa