Albert grunted. "Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?" Mort thought for a moment." No," he said eventually, "what?" There was silence. Then Albert straightened up and said, "Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve 'em right.

— Terry Pratchett

A lie can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on.

— Terry Pratchett

All dwarfs have beards and wear up to twelve layers of clothing. Gender is more or less optional.

— Terry Pratchett

All he had was nothing, but that was something, and now it had been taken away.

— Terry Pratchett

ALL THINGS THAT ARE, ARE OURS. BUT WE MUST CARE. FOR IF WE DO NOT CARE, WE DO NOT EXIST. IF WE DO NOT EXIST, THEN THERE IS NOTHING BUT BLIND OBLIVION. AND EVEN OBLIVION MUST END SOMEDAY. LORD, WILL YOU GRANT ME JUST A LITTLE TIME? FOR THE PROPER BALANCE OF THINGS. TO RETURN WHAT WAS GIVEN. FOR THE SAKE OF PRISONERS AND THE FLIGHT OF BIRDS. Death took a step backwards. It was impossible to read expression in Azrael's features. Death glanced sideways at the servants. LORD, WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?

— Terry Pratchett

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

— Terry Pratchett

Always face what you fear. Have just enough money, never too much, and some string. Even if it’s not your fault, it’s your responsibility. Witches deal with things. Never stand between two mirrors. Never cackle. Do what you must do. Never lie, but you don’t always have to be honest. Never wish. Especially don’t wish upon a star, which is astronomically stupid. Open your eyes, and then open your eyes again.

— Terry Pratchett

... a man needs no camel to ride to hell, yea, nor horse, nor mule; a man may ride into hell on his tongue...

— Terry Pratchett

A man walked across the moors from Razorback to Lance town without seeing a single marsh light, head-less dog, strolling tree, ghostly coach or comet, and had to be taken in by a tavern and given a drink to unsteady his nerves.

— Terry Pratchett

Amazin'.' he said again. 'He just looks as though he's thinking, right?'' Er...yes.'' But he's not actually thinking?'' Er...no.'' So...he just gives the impression of thinking, but really it's just a show?'' Er...yes.' Just like everyone else, then really,' said Radically

— Terry Pratchett