Your wife is a big hippo! My face is melting! My face is meltinnnnggg!

— Terry Pratchett

You say that you people don’t burn folk and sacrifice people anymore, but that’s what true faith would mean, y’see? Sacrificin’ your own life, one day at a time, to the flame, declarin’ the truth of it, workin’ for it, breathin’ the soul of it. That’s religion. Anything else is just. . . Is just bein’ nice. And a way of keepin’ in touch with the neighbors.

— Terry Pratchett

You Say To People 'Throw Off Your Chains' And They Make New Chains For Themselves?

— Terry Pratchett

You see a wile, you thwart. Am I right?

— Terry Pratchett

You see," the tourist went on, "you know that thing you do with seaweed?" Bethan, brought up on the Vortex Plains, had only heard of the sea in stories, and had decided she didn't like it. She looked blank. "Eat it?" "No, what you do is, you hang it up outside your door, and it tells you if it's going to rain." Another thing Bethan had learned was that there was no real point in trying to understand anything Two flower said, and that all anyone could do was run alongside the conversation and hope to jump on it as it turned a corner." I see," she said. "Renewing is like that, you see." "Like seaweed." "Yes. If there was anything at all to be frightened about, he'd be frightened. But he's not. The star is just about the only thing I've ever seen him not frightened of. If he's not worried, then take it from me, there's nothing to be worried about." "It's not going to rain?" said Bethan. "Well, no, metaphorically speaking." "Oh." Bethan decided not to ask what "metaphorically" meant, in case it had something to do with seaweed.

— Terry Pratchett

You totally ruined my life, you know that?' said Renewing hotly. 'I could have really made it as a wizard if you hadn't decided to use me as a sort of portable spell book. I can't remember any other spells, they're all too frightened to stay in the same head as you!

— Terry Pratchett

You trust him?" he said. "No," said Master. "Right," said Light. It'd be a funny old world, he reflected, if demons went round trusting one another.

— Terry Pratchett

... You want a special truth. *You* want the truth to be a truth that *you* like. You want it to be a pretty little truth that fits what you already believe!

— Terry Pratchett

You wanted magic, watch". She put her hand into the struggling mass of insects and made a shrill faint piping noise in the back of her throat. There was a movement in the mass, and a large bee lander and flatter then the others crawled onto her hand. A few workers followed it stroking it and generally ministering to it." How did you do that" said Ask." Ahhh," said Granny, "wouldn't you like to know"." Yes I would that's why I asked Granny," said Ask severely." Do you think I used magic", Ask looked down at the queen bee, then up at the witch." No, I think you just know a lot about bees". Granny grinned, "Exactly correct, that's one form of magic of course"." What just knowing things"." Knowing things that other people don't know," said Granny

— Terry Pratchett

You want fantasy? Here's one... There's this species that lives on a planet a few miles above molten rock and a few miles below a vacuum that'd suck the air right out of them. They live in a brief geological period between ice ages, when giant asteroids have temporarily stopped smacking into the surface. As far as they can tell, there's nowhere else in the universe where they could stay alive for ten seconds. And what do they call their fragile little slice of space and time? They call it real life.

— Terry Pratchett