After driving 30-minutes East of Seattle, I expect to see a great bowling alley. But, as we pull into the parking lot, all I see are potholes, a horse and Amish buggy, and no cars to speak of- broken down or otherwise. Even the building is in shambles, needs to be painted and looks a bit haunted. The old road sign reading-Flicker Lanes-is half-burnt out. Seeing the building's interior lights on, I'm reassured that the place is open- but then again, maybe they've been left on by mistake. "There are LOTS of NICE bowling alleys in SEATTLE," I said. "Why did we come ALL THIS WAY to go BOWLING?"" I take it that you've never BEEN here before."" I don't think ANYONE HAS. Furthermore, I don't even KNOW what PLANET we're on."" I don't know what PLANET you're on either... but the rest of us are on your ANUS." I half-smile, marveling at his wittiness.

— Giorge Leedy

After six long hours of driving and three rest stops, Tiger pulls up to a snow-topped, metal speaker box just outside the State Penitentiary's first gate in Walla Walla. As he rolls down his window and snow flies in his face, Joshua starts begging for a Happy Meal. I turn around, snapping at him. "This ISN'T McDonald's and YOU AREN'T HUNGRY. NOW SHUT UP BRAT." A loud scratchy masculine voice blasts out of the speaker. "CAN I HELP YOU?" Tiger leans out the window, as he answers-We're here to visit Raven Chandler."HAVE YOU BEEN HERE BEFORE?"" Yes sir. I've been here A LOT." "WHERE'S HIS MOTHER?"" I don't know. I haven't seen her in months.""NOT THE PRISONER'S MOTHER. THE BRAT IN THE BACK SEAT OF YOUR JEEP."" Oh- HIM-" As he turns, smiling and sticking his tongue out at Joshua, I lean towards his window to answer the guard's question. "SHE'S IN VEGAS, SIR. I'M BABYSITTING. HE'S MY GODSON." When the speaker remains disturbingly silent for far too long, I continue. "HE'S A GOOD BOY SIR. HE WON'T BE ANY TROUBLE- I SWEAR." "THAT'S RIGHT," Tiger said. "HE SWEARS ON THE LITTLE BRAT'S MOTHER'S GRAVE.

— Giorge Leedy

As I'm smiling but fearing for the worse, he asks if I was in the Navy."NO. THIS IS JUST MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME.""WELL, I WAS... FOR NEARLY TWENTY YEARS." I don't know whether he wants me to apologize for impersonating a sailor, thank him for his service, or stop drooling as I melt into his eyes

— Giorge Leedy

A WATERY BLISS As busy as an ice cream freezer, On a Sunday getting hotter, Happy is the honey eater-The busy ocean otter, Floating alongside Peter, On a sea full of water.

— Giorge Leedy

BAREFOOT BEACH Take off your shoes-You're on barefoot beach. Relax in the sunshine-Broken only by trees.

— Giorge Leedy

BE REAL Bring it on-And let truth be my existence. Value my life-And tell me like it is. Bark at me when I'm wrong-And hug me when I'm right. Praise me if I succeed-And tell me if I fail. Laugh at me if you think I'm funny-And wink at me if you think I'm cute. Yell at me if I ever hurt you-And scold me if I'm ever bad. Keep things real with me, Because I want to be alive, I want my world to be real-And I want to see your spirit. I want to hear you breathe- And I want to know how you feel. Don’t waste my time with insecurities. Keep my world real.

— Giorge Leedy

DICK’S DESIRE Dick's eyes-Soft, cold, and blue-Meet Devonshire's-Dark, sexy, and yearning. Turning away-Dick grabs two packets of sugar-While Devonshire's eyes-Are still upon him-Pondering his every move. Is Dick a playboy, A ladies' man, A men' man, Or a killer? Does his sex long for, Something hard-Or something soft? Does he need cream in his coffee-The screaming splash of a man, Or the sweet flow of a woman? Finishing up at the bar-Dick turns to leave-Meets Devonshire's gaze again-Hot, thirsty, and longing-But full of trepidation. Following the flow of etiquette-Dick shoots out of the café, Past Devonshire, And into a world of dashed hopes, And regrets. But Devonshire-No longer of two worlds-Rises in pursuit-Goes after Dick, And taps him on the shoulder. Dick gives a turn, Raises his shoulders, And smiles with interest-Taking Devonshire's hand, And asking his name. Devonshire answers-Desire. Dick invites Devonshire to dinner, Where he eats everything, Swallowing Dick's life stories, And devouring his misgivings. For dessert, Devonshire takes Dick home, Into his bed, Against his flesh, And gives Dick all of him-His deepest desires, The love in his eyes, And the fire in his soul.

— Giorge Leedy

Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"" Not at all. Shoot-""Do you have butt implants?

— Giorge Leedy

FRIENDS Looking out the window, I see you looking in. You are the sunshine, That fills my soul.

— Giorge Leedy

He takes the beer and sets it on the floor. "I've never been into guys. So, this attraction to you is a little weird for me." I try to ease his mind by telling him that a lot of straight guys have at least one homosexual experience in their lifetime and that it's pretty normal." Yeah… that's what I hear."" So don't over-think it. Just do me." He laughs, runs his hand down my arms, over my chest, and follows my happy trail down to my pubes.

— Giorge Leedy