A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.

— H. L. Mencken

A cynic is a man who when he smells flowers looks around for a coffin.

— H. L. Mencken

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.

— H. L. Mencken

All government, of course, is against liberty.

— H. L. Mencken

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.

— H. L. Mencken

A prohibitionist is the sort of man one wouldn't care to drink with - even if he drank.

— H. L. Mencken

A Puritan is a person who lives in the fear that someone somewhere may be having a good time.

— H. L. Mencken

A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.

— H. L. Mencken

Bachelors know more about women than married men if they didn't they'd be married too.

— H. L. Mencken

Bachelors know more about women than married men if they didn't they'd be married too.

— H. L. Mencken