He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.

— Darynda Jones

He turned the corner and flipped me off at the same time. See? Men could multitask. I was so proud of him.

— Darynda Jones

He was leaving my stepmother for a sailboat. Not that I blamed him. A sailboat would at least be useful.

— Darynda Jones

His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candlelight.

— Darynda Jones

How old are you, anyway?"" How old are you?"" Seventeen." I raise a brow." Almost. I'll be seventeen in two weeks. You?" Part of me doesn't want to tell her. She'll be horrified. But part of me wants to know what she will do when she knows the truth. "How old do you think I am?" She lifts a slender shoulder. "At first I thought maybe eighteen, but now I'm thinking at least nineteen. Maybe even twenty?""why's that?"" You seem very ... experienced." I nod. "You're close. Today's my birthday. I'm thirteen.

— Darynda Jones

Humor is so subjective, not everyone is going to get what you are peddling. Others will be offended when what you meant no offense whatsoever. Those are the stakes. You have to be able to stand up for yourself and what you’ve written. Comedy pushes limits, makes people uncomfortable, and is a natural reaction to the environment. Otherwise, as I said, it is forced. Let it flow and give your characters permission to cross a line or two, but only if you can take the heat afterward.

— Darynda Jones

I also become the local computer nerd. The administration brings me in to fix all the computers, I create viruses to invade at a specific day and time. They call me in, and I eradicate my own virus, only to plant another one to go into effect a couple of months later. They ask me why I can't just fix the computers once and for all. I tell them to quit going to porn sites and it will stay fixed. That shuts them up every time.

— Darynda Jones

I am a huge believer in revelations and fun twists.

— Darynda Jones

I am apparently the complete opposite of a sociopath. (Seriously. I took a test.) WHEW! ‪#‎dodgedabullet‬

— Darynda Jones

I cannot tell you how important fresh, crisp writing is for an aspiring writer. Plot is great. The overall concept is super important. But the writing is what sells your work. It all boils down to the words you choose and the order in which you arrange them.

— Darynda Jones