If I did sales - my technique would be to hand-seal each deal with gourmet omelets, by Jarod Into's secret invisible recipe that I stole.

— Will Advise

If it's public, it's not bonding.

— Will Advise

If I were offering hip replacement services I'd use Jarod Into as my spokesman. No one can possibly be better than him, to replace the missing spoke in your wheels.

— Will Advise

If Jarod Into was a cat, he'd stalk people silently and deadly. Right now, all he does is bark at them for no good reason, like all the good people do.

— Will Advise

I flow like a butter in the nailed pan I stole. I also kept the nail, to polish and use as a means of teleportation.

— Will Advise

If you have half a nothing - sell it for a double something, resell half at double-price, and buy another something and a half - how much nothing will you have two days from then? Like three. Because three is the short version of π, and π is involved in virtually anything, in some form, if you believe what the internet tells you.

— Will Advise

I'll catch any rose in my vase-shaped heart, then process it through my vascular system, until there's nothing left.

— Will Advise

I'll make a book on learning how to be a complete moron someday, and I'm sure no one will buy it, because everyone will have mastered that already by the time I gather enough Mormonism to process it into digestible upgrade instructions for your average village cyborg-idiot.

— Will Advise

I'm an oracle of the past. I can accurately predict up to 1 minute in the future, by thoroughly investigating the last 2 years of your life. Also, I look like an old database – flat and full of useless info.

— Will Advise

I'm like my cat. I run around in circles in my apartment, because the big bad outside is just too big. And scary. And outside. How do stray cats deal with all the stress of having no protection from all the air that’s going on around there, without anyone to guide and control it into timidity?

— Will Advise