I'm selling Jarod's life today. I mean virginity. He has no life. Email [email protected] for more information, and please try to catch our special delivery at double-price deals, which will be posted somewhere on the internet at random, every other Tuesday, for half a night (on the previous day), unless it’s a Saturday, in which case you’ll have to wait and hope until the destined day comes and takes you away to heaven, which unfortunately, does not exist, except in the imagination of carefully selected individuals.

— Will Advise

In days long past, Jarod said he’d write a sentence about my love, translated in Russian, and that sentence, like my love, is clearly not for sale, unlike his virginity, or this book, which I’m both offering at ten times the market value, so hurry up and buy now, before it goes down.

— Will Advise

IQs are a combination of eyes, and queues. Would you wait in line to see my goat show? Of course, you wouldn't, because the line is invisible.

— Will Advise

I sometimes go to a mythical place called "workplace", where the doable is always unpassable as possible, especially when it pisses you off.

— Will Advise

I think she's too single for me, and she thinks I'm with two other people. She also thinks she thinks, I think.

— Will Advise

I want to be the most unsold, and the most unsought-after author, after I stop selling my fake name anagrams on the internet.

— Will Advise

I wonder how Japan's futuristic robot doctors will treat the worst and most widespread disease humanity already has - artificially lowered IQ. Making people stupider makes them buy more stuff – so “How many robots can you afford?” will be the big question of one of the following decades, unless we go back to Communism and produce everything for the sake of it, for free.

— Will Advise

Life is always just to learn.

— Will Advise

Love can be found mainly amongst stars

— Will Advise

Love can be simply the absence of tension.

— Will Advise