BELLADONNA, n. In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

— Ambrose Bierce

Beware of the compound adjective, beloved of the tyro and the 'poetess'.

— Ambrose Bierce

Bore: a person who talks when you wish him to listen.

— Ambrose Bierce

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

— Ambrose Bierce

Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.

— Ambrose Bierce

Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.

— Ambrose Bierce

Christian: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.

— Ambrose Bierce

Commendation n: the tribute that we pay to achievements that resemble but do not equal our own.

— Ambrose Bierce

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

— Ambrose Bierce

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

— Ambrose Bierce