Doesn't sunlight kill them? Doesn't it turn them to dust, or make them burst into flames or something?"" Nope. Vampires tan, just like you and me. Well, just like you. I tend to bleach.

— Derek Landy

Don't open the door to strangers," said her dad. "Unless they're selling something. Then open the door and see if I'd like it. If I'd like it, buy it for me. But nothing cheap. I have standards. Nothing too expensive, either. My standards aren't that high.

— Derek Landy

Doors are for people with no imagination.

— Derek Landy

Do you think we’ll be waiting long?” Valkyrie asked, keeping her voice low.“The last time we were in this building, we accused the Grand Mage of being a traitor,” Skulduggery said. “Yes, I think we’ll be waiting long.

— Derek Landy

Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed.

— Derek Landy

Emergency Valve Regulators," she repeated. "So you do know what you're doing?" Not really," he said yanking another wire. 'I made up that term to keep you happy. I'm just pulling all the red wires because they're the pretty ones.

— Derek Landy

Every once in a while, I get the urge. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? The urge for destruction. The urge to hurt, maim, kill. It’s quite a thing, to experience that urge, to let it wash over you, to give in to it. It’s addictive. Furthermore, it’s all-consuming. You lose yourself to it. It’s quite, quite wonderful. I can feel it, even as I speak, tapping around the edges of my mind, trying to price me open, slip its fingers in. And it would be so easy to let it happen. But we’re all like that, aren’t we? We’re all barbarians at our core. We’re all savage, murderous beasts. I know I am. I’m sure you are. The only difference between us, Mr Grave, is how loudly we roar. I know I roar very loudly indeed. How about you? Do you think you can match me?

— Derek Landy

Every solution to every problem is simple. It's the distance between the two where the mystery lies.

— Derek Landy

Faith frowned. Did people still go on DATES anymore? She was sure they did. They probably called it something different though. She tried to think of the last date she'd been on. The last PROPER date. Did fighting side by side with Saracen Rue count as a date? They ended up snuggling under the moonlight, drenched in gore and pieces of brain - so it had PROBABLY been a date. If it wasn't, it was certainly a fun time had by all. Well, not ALL. But she and Saracen had sure had a blast.

— Derek Landy

Fletcher was always going to be your ex-boyfriend, from the moment you met him. He's just finally caught up with where he's supposed to be.

— Derek Landy