If anyone stops us, as long as we mumble something pretentious about the glory of death, we should be fine.

— Derek Landy

If he can't get to the clock, any idea how we deal with this lot?"" With great care," Donegal suggested." How about we run off shout, and they follow?" Said Gracious. "Then, just when they think they've caught us they fall into our trap.""OK," said Faith. "And that trap would be?"" A big hole we'd dug earlier and covered with branches.' Tanith frowned. "I thought you were meant to be smart." Gracious frowned back at her. "Who told you that?"" Gracious is book smart," said Donegal. "He leaves the real world thinking to people like you and me and small dogs that he meets."" The innocent are often the wisest.

— Derek Landy

I find it rude to laugh at a man with a sword.

— Derek Landy

I had an uneventful few days," it told her. "The most exciting thing was an hour-long lecture from the headmaster on taking our studies seriously. He said next year's exam will arrive sooner than we think."" No, they won't," Valkyrie said, frowning. "They'll arrive next year, exactly when we expect them."" That's what I told him," the reflection nodded. "I don't think he's comfortable with logic, because he didn't look happy. He sent me to the Career Guidance counselor, who asked me what I wanted to do after college." Valkyrie stowed her black clothes. "What did you say?"" I told her I wanted to be a Career Guidance counselor. She started crying, then accused me of mocking her. I told her if she wasn't happy in her job then she should look at other options, then pointed out that I was already doing her job better than she was. She gave me detention.

— Derek Landy

I... I don't, I don't think I can do this."" Do what?" It didn't answer." Do the tests?"" I can't work with you when you're like this!" it blurted. "To every one of my specimens, I am the last thing they see! Terror is what I am used to-- terror is what I like! I prefer my subjects to scream and beg, not ask to see results!"" I'll scream my questions, if that helps."" It won't," it said sadly. "I'll know you're only trying to make me feel better.

— Derek Landy

I love stories with a happy ending,” Inspector Me said.

— Derek Landy

I love you all, even those I don’t particularly like. That’s you, Beryl.

— Derek Landy

I love you.'' Yeah, well...'' You make my heart want to beat.'' That's nice and creepy. But I'm with Fletcher.(...) Also, these proclamations of your undying love for me are getting kind of... it's a bit much to be honest. Just hold back a little.'' But my love for you is eternal.'' That's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about.

— Derek Landy

I'm almost finished," said Wilhelm, wiping out a line with his sleeve and drawing over it." I never doubted you for a moment," said Vex, then looked at Aurora and spoke more softly. "I actually doubted him the whole time. He's really not very good." Wilhelm turned. "I'm standing right in front of you. I can hear literally every sound you make."" Wilhelm, please," said Vex, "this is a private conversation.

— Derek Landy

I mean you ACRES of harm,' Dalrymple growled. 'Untold QUANTITIES of harm. I will visit a whole CONTINENT of harm upon you before we are through.

— Derek Landy