He looked at Ghastly. "Thoughts?"" I want to kill Sanguine," was the first thing Ghastly said. "And I want to do it slowly, in front of a lot of people. Using a hammer." Skulduggery nodded. "Very healthy.

— Derek Landy

He put on his hat and wrapped his scarf around his jaw, but did without the wig and the sunglasses. He clicked his keychain and the car beeped, and the doors locked." That's it?" He looked up. "Sorry?"" Aren't you afraid it might get stolen? We're not exactly in a good part of town."" It's got a car alarm."" Don't you, like, cast a spell or something? To keep it safe?"" No. It's a pretty good car alarm.

— Derek Landy

Here she is,” her mum said, cooing at the baby, “my special girl.”“Oh, cheers,” Valkyrie said, rolling her eyes.

— Derek Landy

He thinks we think he's a double agent, working for them but secretly working for us. He doesn't know we know he's a triple agent, working for them but secretly working for us, but really he's secretly working for them. Dexter, how's your brain?"" Hurting.

— Derek Landy

He took her hand in his and knelt before her. Valkyrie looked at him. He was serious. (...)' Dude, I'm sixteen.'' I love you.'' That doesn't make me any older. Stand up.'' Not until you say yes.'' You're going to shuffle around on your knees for the rest of your life? Stand up, for God's sake.'' Be my wife.' 'Shut the hell up.

— Derek Landy

How are we going to get out of here?"" Oh, escape is easy once you have the right

— Derek Landy

I am Detective Inspector Me. This is my partner, Detective Her." The parking enforcement officer frowned. "Her?"" Me," said Stephanie." Him?"" Not me," said Skulduggery. "Her."" Me," said Stephanie." You?" said the parking enforcement officer." Yes," said Stephanie. "I'm sorry, who are you?" Stephanie looked at him. "I'm Her, he's Me. Got it?

— Derek Landy

I am what prevents the Accelerator from being a bomb."" Except you didn't," said Gracious. "Because you weren't around."" I got bored."" You're a machine."" Machines can become bored, too." Gracious looked suddenly concerned. "My toaster is bored?"" Perhaps," said the Engineer. "I do not know many toasters.

— Derek Landy

I cannot have chaos erupting around me until I am prepared for it. I am a collector. Furthermore, I am an observer. Furthermore, I don't participate. My resources, and my standing, must be secure before I can allow the uncertainty of war to crash down upon us.

— Derek Landy

I can't tell you how many beautiful women have broken up with me because they were bored. I can't tell you because it never happened. They all adored me." "It was your humility, wasn't it?

— Derek Landy