AAAAIIIE! You're the guy with the things, and the thing that does that thing, and then you did that one thing! Oh, and I think there's something about other things, and maybe you fix things?-Sergeant Schlock

— Howard Tayler

Air traffic control is going to have a steamy old fit on your dime, boy. They can get in line behind the police, the people whose cars we trashed, the Empire of the Ob'end, the Partnership Collective, and the Worm gate Corporation. Oh, and I think maybe some dark matter beasties from Andromeda. You "think maybe"?-General Wagon & Captain Andreas

— Howard Tayler

Are you done briefing the company yet?"" We, um... Haven't gotten through the introductions yet."" Allow me: Time-traveling Kevin Andreas, this is the mercenary company "Wagon's Toughs."" Company, this is the time-traveling Kevin Andreas, who will have become your captain thirty-two hours from now, as of seven weeks ago. Now, quick. Let's go save the galaxy while they're confused.

— Howard Tayler

As long as we only have to lie to the enemy, it's honest enough for me.-Captain Wagon

— Howard Tayler

A soft answer turned away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.

— Howard Tayler

Being a mercenary, though... Hey, we just go wherever there's a mixture of money and trouble, and everyone in the galaxy is a potential customer. Even the people you're paid to shoot at? Well, yeah. There are customers we serve, and customers we service.-Captain Kevin Andreas & General Wagon

— Howard Tayler

Captain, I'm fairly unique among artificial intelligences. I am FREE. I work for you because I want to. Furthermore, I fly your ship for you because I enjoy it. Furthermore, I am compelled to accept orders only by my conscience. This makes me an equal with the rest of your troops. They aren't hard-wired to obey you, yet they'll follow you to the ends of the Universe.

— Howard Tayler

Captain, you have heard the charges. How do you plead? Before you answer, you should know that if you plead "guilty" you'll be immediately extradited and U.N.S. law will take over."" Not guilty."" Also, it's not very nice to lie in court."" But it beats extradition.

— Howard Tayler

Does that mean that if we shave all the Ob'end they'll be nice?

— Howard Tayler

Hennessy, get the Serial Peacemaker to the beach for dust off."" Dustoff? You're going to run away from three guys?"" No, I'm going to kill or capture those three guys, and then run away from the Police.

— Howard Tayler