I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.

— Bill Hicks

I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, 'What's wrong?' Nothing. 'Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.' Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?

— Bill Hicks

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

— Bill Hicks

I loved when Bush came out and said, 'We are losing the war against drugs.' You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.

— Bill Hicks

I'm glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, "My God! Furthermore, I love everything." Yeah, now if that isn't a hazard to our country … how are we going to justify arms dealing when we realize that we're all one?

— Bill Hicks

I'm not into this kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about eighty kids would pull up: 'STRATFORD SUCKS!' Am I supposed to run after these guys? I'd just stand there, you know. They'd back up. 'STRATFORD SUCKS! ...STRATFORD SUCKS!' I'd say, 'I know. I go there. You're wasting gas, man.

— Bill Hicks

I'm sorry if any of you are catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended, I'm actually just sorry by the fact that you're catholic

— Bill Hicks

I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.

— Bill Hicks

It's all about money, not freedom. You think you're free? Try going somewhere without money.

— Bill Hicks

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

— Bill Hicks