To forgive someone means to let him off the hook, or to cancel a debt he owes you. When you refuse to forgive someone, you still want something from that person, and even if it is revenge you want, it keeps you tied to him forever.

— Henry Cloud

Training moments occur when both parents and children do their jobs. The parent's job is to make the rule. The child's job is to break the rule. The parent then corrects and disciplines. The child breaks the rule again, and the parent manages the consequences and empathy that then turn the rule into reality and internal structure for the child.

— Henry Cloud

Values are sometimes worth living and dying for, and are certainly worth dating and breaking up over.

— Henry Cloud

We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.

— Henry Cloud

We grow in part by confessing our faults and weaknesses to each other (James 5:16; Eccl. 4:10). If we are always being strong and without needs, we are not growing, and we are setting ourselves up for a very dangerous fall.

— Henry Cloud

We know from research that growth is actually contagious, so if you want to reach your goals, you've got to get around people that are going in the same direction you want to be going, and you will catch the success.

— Henry Cloud

What happens with a lot of leaders is that their leadership style is like ADD they are all over the place with different ideas. They could be driving one idea forward but then move on to something else too soon.

— Henry Cloud

When a person travels through a few years with an organization, or with a partnership, or any other kind of working association, he leaves a 'wake' behind in these two areas, task and relationship: what did he accomplish, and how did he deal with people?

— Henry Cloud

When leaders lead in ways that people’s brains can follow, good results follow as well.

— Henry Cloud

When people are vulnerable to control, they feel that they are selfish for deciding what to do with their own property. In reality, deciding for ourselves is the only way we can ever have true love, for then we are giving freely.

— Henry Cloud