Dating should really be more like furniture store commercials.... I would love to' pay no interest for 6 months

— Josh Stern

Don't be so hard on yourself....that's what a loofah's for

— Josh Stern

Don't you wish we all lived in black light.... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it

— Josh Stern

Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.

— Steven Wright

Everything is possible, but where can I find everything?!

— Ljupka Cvetanova

Everything not forbidden is compulsory

— T.H. White

God is the supreme-uncreated light of which Wisdom is born, but there was never a time when God's Wisdom did not exist.

— Merritt Y. Hughes

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

— Yogi Berra

Have you ever heard a blindfolded octopus unwrap a cellophane-covered bathtub?

— Norton Juster

He himself, Anthony went on to think, he himself had chosen to regard the whole process as either pointless or a practical joke. Yes, chosen. For it had been an act of the will. If it were all nonsense or a joke, then he was at liberty to read his books and exercise his talents for sarcastic comment; there was no reason why he shouldn't sleep with any presentable woman who was ready to sleep with him. If it weren't nonsense, if there was some significance, then he could no longer live irresponsibly. There were duties towards himself and others and the nature of things. Duties with whose fulfillment the sleeping and the indiscriminate reading and the habit of detached irony would interfere. He had chosen to think it nonsense, and nonsense for more than twenty years the thing had seemed to be – nonsense, in spite of occasional uncomfortable intimations that there might be a point, and that the point was precisely in what he had chosen to regard as the pointlessness, the practical joke.

— Aldous Huxley