A living skeleton isn't enough for you, is it? What does it take to impress young people these days?

— Derek Landy

And what about magic?” “What about it?” “Will you teach me?” “You don’t even know if you’re capable of doing magic.” “How do I find out? Is there a test or something?”“Yes, we cut off your head. If it grows back, you can do magic.

— Derek Landy

An untied shoelace can be dangerous,' he said.' I could have tripped.' She stared at him. A moment dragged by.' I'm joking,' he said at last. She relaxed. 'Really?'' Absolutely. I would never have tripped. I'm far too graceful.

— Derek Landy

Aurora sagged. "Why is it," she asked, "that every time I'm with you two we end up stealing something big?"" We always return it," Donegal said, a little defensively. "Maybe not always in one piece or necessarily to the right person but return it we do, and so it is not stealing, it is merely borrowing." Gracious looked at him. "It's a little bits tea

— Derek Landy

Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant... The fate of the world may depend on whether you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.

— Derek Landy

But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake.

— Derek Landy

Cheer up everyone," he said, a new brightness to his voice. "Since we’re all going to die horribly anyway, what’s there to be worried about?

— Derek Landy

China is the same age as I am, and even I have to admit that she wears it better!" He laughed, then stopped and peered at her. "Because I'm a skeleton" he explained.

— Derek Landy

Come on. I know you're not a stupid man.'' I'm quite stupid. Ask anyone.'' Finbar, are there superheroes living among us?' Fin bar snorted with laughter and Kenny started to feel a little thick. 'Superheroes? In tights and capes, flying around? If there were superheroes, Mr. Journalist, don't you think they'd be in New York or somewhere like that? There's not that many tall buildings for Spider-Man to swing from in Dublin, you know? He'd have maybe two good swings and then hang there looking disappointed.' 'These people don't wear tights and capes, Fin bar.'' So they're naked superheroes? That's grand for now, but when the good weather is over they're going to regret it.'' They look like us. They dress like us. But they're not like us. They're different.'' You,' Fin bar said. 'Are sounding very racist right now.

— Derek Landy

Cor rival looked around. 'So is this it? Is everyone here? Erskine, maybe you should start the ball rolling. I have places to go and things to do.'' Me?' Ravel asked. 'Why do I have to start it? You're the most respected mage here. You start it, or Skulduggery.' Skulduggery shook his head. 'I can't start it. I don't like most of these people. I might start shooting.

— Derek Landy