I'm reading a book, because I'm brainy. No, it is a book - if you don't know, it is like a blog except bigger.

— Craig Ferguson

I realized women and humor were linked very closely.

— Craig Ferguson

I realize that I am not a journalist. So anything I say is not important.

— Craig Ferguson

I think comedy as an art involves the audience as a participant as much as is involving the artist.

— Craig Ferguson

I think commercialism helps Christmas and I think that the more capitalism we can inject into the Christmas holiday the more spiritual I feel about it

— Craig Ferguson

I think in our desire to create a better America, we have to have civilized debate in this country and not just yelling.

— Craig Ferguson

I think people are as individual as snowflakes, they kinda look alike, but no two are exactly the same, and all classification is the root of prejudice.

— Craig Ferguson

I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.

— Craig Ferguson

It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.

— Craig Ferguson

I told her that I didn't want to take any drugs. That I had come here not to take drugs. "Listen," she said, not unkindly, "up until now I would say that ninety-nine percent of all the narcotics you have taken in your life you bought from guys you didn't know, in bathrooms or on street corners, something like that. Correct?" I nodded." Well these guys could have been selling you salt or strychnine. They didn't care. They wanted your money. I don't care about your money, and, unlike your previous suppliers, I went to college to study just the right drugs to give to people like you in order to help you get better. So, bearing all that in mind ... Take the fucking drugs!" I took the drugs.

— Craig Ferguson