A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success.

— Robert Orben

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

— Robert Orben

Cheap? If he was at the Last Supper he would have asked for separate checks!

— Robert Orben

Did you ever see that painting the Mona Lisa? It always reminds me of a reporter listening to a politician.

— Robert Orben

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

— Robert Orben

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

— Robert Orben

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there I go to work.

— Robert Orben

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

— Robert Orben

Have you noticed when you go on a diet the first thing you lose is your temper?

— Robert Orben

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

— Robert Orben