Holly clambered after him, struggling up the human-size steps. "Wait! Just wait," she called, overtaking Artemis and looking him in the eye from one step up. "I know you, Artemis. You like to play your genius card close to your chest until the big reveal. And that's worked out for us so far. But this time you need to let me in. I can help. So, tell me the truth, do you have a plan?" Artemis met his friend's gaze and lied to her face. "No," he said. "No plan.

— Eoin Colfer

How could you...? How?"" Logically you have no right to be angry. I simply followed your l

— Eoin Colfer

How did that go” [Butler] asked. “Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age.”“Fabulous,” said Artemis, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “We’re planning a June wedding.

— Eoin Colfer

How does she know it's the right room?' wondered Descant. Oh, I don't know; maybe it's the magical red glow coming from the doorway, or perhaps it's the deafening howl of the temporal winds.' said Merrill. Descant nodded.' You could be right, brother. And don't think I don't know sarcasm when I hear it.

— Eoin Colfer

How do I love thee? Wondered Orion. "Let me see. I love thee passionately and eternally...obviously eternally-that goes without saying." Holly blinked sweat from her eyes. "Is he serious?" she called over her shoulder to Foal. "Oh, absolutely," said the centaur "If he asks you to look for birthmarks, say no immediately." "Oh, I would never." Orion assured her. "Ladies don't look for birthmarks; that is work for jolly fellows like the Goodly Beast and me. Ladies, like Miss Short, do enough by simply existing. They exude beauty, and that is enough." "I am not exuding anything." said Holly, through gritted teeth. Orion tapped her shoulder. "I beg to differ. You're exuding right now, a wonderful aura. It's pastel blue with little dolphins." Holly gripped the wheel tightly. "I'm going to be sick. Did he just say pastel blue?" "And dolphins, little ones," said Foal.

— Eoin Colfer

Humm Haas. Mahmud Hume AAAA," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Merrill, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.

— Eoin Colfer

I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary.

— Eoin Colfer

I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.

— Eoin Colfer

I bet," said Mulch, "that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn." Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer. Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything.

— Eoin Colfer

I don't like lollipops.

— Eoin Colfer