A block of blood should not have the word "cake" after it...they might as well say "white gâteau

— Karl Pilkington

A dog has got human eyes.

— Karl Pilkington

And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.

— Karl Pilkington

At the end of the day, teachers aren't going to mess about trying to make me into an Einstein, 'cause it was never going to happen. We can't all be brainy, can we? That's just the way the world is.

— Karl Pilkington

Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain?

— Karl Pilkington

How would I know which one I was?

— Karl Pilkington

I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that's added gives you a certain feeling.

— Karl Pilkington

I could eat a knob at night.

— Karl Pilkington

I’d heard street food was a big thing here in Mexico, but I didn’t think it meant the creatures that lived on the street.

— Karl Pilkington

I don't know what 'famous' is, really.

— Karl Pilkington