I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a 'learning experience.' It makes me feel less stupid.

— P. J. O'Rourke

I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom.

— P. J. O'Rourke

I'm too tough and sensitive to have some pubescent twerp with his mom's earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Red-Whip and has an ANI DiFranco tattoos on his shin, come show me how a computer works.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Infant mortality and life expectancy are reasonable indicators of general well-being in a society.

— P. J. O'Rourke

In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in America.

— P. J. O'Rourke

In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.

— P. J. O'Rourke

I spent a lot of time behind the Iron Curtain, and their cars were abysmal.

— P. J. O'Rourke

It could be that all awful dictators are frustrated artists - Mao with his poetry and Mussolini with his monuments. Stalin was once a journalistic hack, and I can personally testify to how frustrated they are. Pol Pot left a very edgy photo collection behind. And Osama seems quite interested in video.

— P. J. O'Rourke

I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning.

— P. J. O'Rourke

I think that humor has become a principle means of communication among Americans about politics.

— P. J. O'Rourke