I like talking about people who don't have any power, and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave.

— Stephen Colbert

I love being onstage. I love the relationship with the audience. Furthermore, I love the letting go, the sense of discovery, the improvising.

— Stephen Colbert

I may be just an empty flesh terminal reliant on technology for all my ideas, memories and relationships, but I am confident that all of that everything that makes me a unique human being is still out there somewhere, safe in a theoretical storage space owned by giant, multinational corporations.

— Stephen Colbert

In America, we know to ignore artists if they're serious in any way.

— Stephen Colbert

In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards.

— Stephen Colbert

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'

— Stephen Colbert

In the media age, everybody was famous for 15 minutes. In the Wikipedia age, everybody can be an expert in five minutes. Special bonus: You can edit your own entry to make yourself seem even smarter.

— Stephen Colbert

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

— Stephen Colbert

It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate.

— Stephen Colbert

It's back to school time. Or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.

— Stephen Colbert