Does speed dating necessarily end up in a quickie divorce....?

— Josh Stern

Don't be so hard on yourself....that's what a loofah's for

— Josh Stern

Don't ever mistake silence for ignorance, when it is obviously stupidity

— Josh Stern

Don't you wish we all lived in black light.... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it

— Josh Stern

Dr. Guess said: 'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.' I tell my dates: 'Don't cry because it happened, smile because it's over

— Josh Stern

Everyone comes with baggage, make sure you get one that comes with a rack

— Josh Stern

Friends might lose touch but never lose feelings

— Josh Stern

I always splash on the cologne before a blind date because dogs can smell fear

— Josh Stern

I'd die for your sins, but I'd probably enjoy them first

— Josh Stern

If America runs on Dunkin', do I detect a slight limp?

— Josh Stern