Treat life as a suicide mission, take on the impossible jobs and attack with the gusto of someone who has nothing to lose.... and when you revel in victory, make like it's a dirty win

— Josh Stern

True ambition is trying to paint yourself out of a corner

— Josh Stern

When it comes to exacting revenge, it gets harder and harder to top yourself each successive time

— Josh Stern

When it comes to relationships, I find it best to have two feet out the door

— Josh Stern

When people try to rain on your parade, ...pee on theirs

— Josh Stern

When she says 'I've never done this before" she just means with you

— Josh Stern

When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turn down service….that's no chocolate on the pillow

— Josh Stern

Women are aroused by the strangest things, like a rock going through their bedroom window

— Josh Stern

Women, can't live with them, can't murder/suicide without them

— Josh Stern

Women need a reason to have sex, while men just need an angle

— Josh Stern