One of the best hearing aids a man can have been an attentive wife.

— Groucho Marx

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.

— Groucho Marx

Outside a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog it's too dark to read.

— Groucho Marx

Outside a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside a dog it's too dark to read.

— Groucho Marx

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

— Groucho Marx

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

— Groucho Marx

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

— Groucho Marx

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

— Groucho Marx

Quote me as saying I was misquoted.

— Groucho Marx

Room service? Send up a larger room."]

— Groucho Marx